The wide world of toys

I remember the first time I took my friends to a sex shop. I was 21 years old, living alone in Mexico, and I had been bragging to my new friends about how I wasn’t lonely because I had my trusted vibrator with me. Three women sat in front of me, all older than I was, and I watched as their faces visibly turned red as they started to squirm. After a palpable silence, one woman looked at me and said, “can you show us which one you have?” Followed by another, “but how did you know what to get?” Finally, the third asked, “should we all just go buy one together?” Three women well over the age of 25 and not a single one had ever used a vibrator. They had never touched themselves, they had never even seen their own beautiful female anatomy, but every single one of them had been sexually active for many years. 
We live in a dangerous world, a world where children get their sex education through word of mouth, or even worse, porn. These women had each taken their version of sex ed in school but couldn’t tell me the different types of orgasms vulva owner’s can experience, in fact they weren’t even sure if they knew what an orgasm felt like. I have to tell you, if you're uncertain if you've ever had one, your probably haven't. People think educating themselves on how to give the best blow job ever or how to be good on top or how to do reverse cowgirl is the key to having better sex. But until you know how to please yourself, no technique you learn about will do it.

Anyway, back to the sex shop in Cabo. So there we were, stood in front of a wall of toys, ranging from anatomically correct dildos (that they all hoped were just novelty size) to vibrators that were the size of a tube of lipstick. I was struck with the realization, how is it that I was the first one to give them to show them this? How had they never had the desire to take their pleasure into their own hands? Why are we leaving it at the mercy of our sexual partners (or worse, porn movies) to teach us what our own body is capable of?

I had always been sex positive, unabashedly ashamed at my interest in sexual activity, pleasure and anatomy. Sadly, at an age where my parents were still using cutesy names for my genitalia, I was sexually abused, a scary part of life that many children are exposed to.
It was this abuse that propelled me into a world I wasn’t yet ready to be in. A world where fully grown men looked at a 10-year old kid as if she was the last glass of lemonade on a hot day, just waiting to be devoured. I was exposed early to the exploits of men and what is considered their “human nature”. At the age of 13, I was fully developed and dating men who were legal adults. I don't think it was ever something I consciously chose, but something I vividly remember as always being part of my life.

For me, talking about sex is how I have taken my power back. Teaching other men and women about how to find what feels good is how I alchemized a disgusting situation, and even managed to turn it into a full-time job. Now I’m not trivializing what happened to me, but I genuinely believe that if we all reveled in our sexuality it would stop us from being reduced to it.

So let me teach you about the wonderful world of sex toys. Masturbation stories are often diminished to the creepy man in the corner with a sticky magazine, but masturbation can be so much more than that. In fact, using sex toys to masturbate can help you reach so much pleasure, you're elevated to a higher consciousness. This is the whole basis of what I teach, that using your own sacred sexuality can allow you to experience a potential you didn't even know existed.

Now, there are many toys that I recommend, so this might have to be in multiple parts. But alas, we have to start somewhere.

So here it is, my sex toy review.

P.S. all the links are clickable, enjoy 

How to use a
rabbit vibrator
  • Lube is very important with any toy!!!  Go slow and allow your body to warm up to it. NEVER use silicone lube on a silicone toy as it will erode the toy.
  • Feel all the different settings, tempos and intensities outside of your body first. Try it on your hands or nipples before you try insertion. 
  • Start on the lowest setting as you begin to explore genital play, beginning externally and then internally. If both parts move separately, use them one at a time. Explore different positions and hip movements to find the spots that feel best.

but not for beginners
  • This is a great intro toy as it's small, relatively quiet and easy to conceal. Great for focusing vibration exactly where you want, allowing for precise stimulation.
  • Once again, use this toy all over, trying out different areas of the genitals, nipples, inner thighs and other erogenous zones. Due to the size, you're able to get into each section of the vulva to allow yourself to explore maximum pleasure.
  • Don't forget the lube! Vary the speed, pattern and don't just use the tip - any part that vibrates is fair play. 

compact and ideal for beginners
How to use a
bullet vibrator
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Write your awesome label here.
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How to use a wand vibrator
  • Another one for external use only, only the head of the wand is used for vibration and stimulation. Take into account size, intensity, power source, water resistance, etc.
  • Again, you're going to want to cycle through all the settings and explore on various body parts, and LUBE LUBE LUBE!
  • Keep in mind that when stimulating the clit, on and off time is essential, Clit stimulation is sensitive, and direct. constant vibration can be less pleasurable than alternating pressure.

easy to use, but definitely better toys out there
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